Creca...

Tarabostes Decides:

Eminent Domain: Inherent Right Or Daylight Robbery?
The Issue

A furious debate over eminent domain, or compulsory purchase, the government's right to take a citizen's private property without permission, has erupted after the government evicted hundreds of people from their homes to make way for a new shopping complex and a bypass.

The Debate

1. "Eminent Domain? More like outright theft!" cries Freddy Love, whose house was bulldozed. "They took away my home! I have to move everything in my life somewhere else because of the whims of some fruitcake city planner? It's lunacy! This blatant power abuse mustn't be allowed to continue. The government should require explicit permission before taking private property!"

2. "You can't be serious," objects Falala Steele, a city planner. "You've got to have bypasses. Eminent domain's essential! Without it we'd actually have to pay for the property we were steali- ah- expropriating and that would mean lots of boring paperwork and be much more expensive. If we really need to build something, say a bypass to ease congestion, do you really want that to be stopped because one person says no? We need eminent domain to let Tarabostes make progress. In fact we could cut costs even more if we didn't have to pay compensation..."

3. "I do believe we should retain our right to eminent domain," says Lars Chicago, your Minister of Miscellaneous Amenities. "But to use it for private industry is just immoral and corrupting. We really ought to only use eminent domain for the purpose of building public utilities like hospitals, schools, and carparks."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

We Need Cash, Sharpish, Say Librarians.
The Issue

Ailing libraries have appealed to the government for a much-needed injection of funds.

The Debate

1. "Our libraries are in a dreadful state," says distressed librarian, Roxanne Chicago. "This year we had to cancel our subscription to 'Playboy' and over half of our shelves are stacked with pamphlets from the Pizzeria across the road. We need more books and better standards. If there were more perks in this job then maybe we'd get some decent employees! If it needs a whole lot of government funds to pay for it all then so be it!"

2. "Now hold it right there!" says manager of the local MEGA-BOOKS store, Prudence Mombota. "I employ twenty-four people and we are dependent upon people paying us money to buy books, magazines and newspapers from my store. How can you even think about giving our tax forlorns to these people so they can put us out of business? 'Course poor people won't be able to afford our wares but they'd only use them for fires or somethin'. Let our libraries die."

3. "I'm all for giving our libraries more money," says Education Minister, Violet Wong. "But we certainly shouldn't just let them spend it however they please. We need an elected board to oversee all purchases and acquisitions made by our library system, promoting educational literature and keeping out smut. That way we can keep nudity out of the hands of children. We can make sure none of those political satires and newspapers that insult our government affect the weak-minded amongst us too. Then our libraries will be something to be proud of."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

4. "Great Scot! I've got it!" exclaims Zeke Jong-Il, your science advisor. "Why do we need these brick and mortar buildings anyway? Let's just scan all these books, newspapers and magazines onto the internet and then we can fire all those expensive librarians with their pensions and healthcare benefits. Think of the money we'd save if we didn't have to print everything! Sure it'll be tough on the librarians and those with no computers but hey, this is the future and they are the past."

Secret Police In Tarabostes?
The Issue

Anarchists have been covertly putting up anti-government posters all over Tarabostes. Some of your closest advisors have suggested the implementation of a secret police force to deal with the more... difficult members of society.

The Debate

1. "Sometimes a government has got to deal with something without having to go through the 'proper channels'," says May Dredd, who does not exist within any of Tarabostes's records. "It happens sometimes and we have to deal with it. It's not just anarchists either - it's the terrorists, the criminals, the traitors, and the goddamn hippies. With a secret police we can arrest the troublemakers and torture them to find other dissenters without having to worry about fiddly matters like human rights."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

2. "Don't listen to that idiot!" whispers Tobias Jefferson, one of your more guilt-ridden henchpersons. "I don't know how you feel about this but I think this would be a bad path for our government to go down. Tarabostes shouldn't resort to deceit and off-the-record brutality to put away people. A secret police force would ruin our fine nation. It's time our government was candid with its people and let them say what they want!"

3. "Or how about we be candid AND have a secret police force," says Hack Love your head spy from behind a newspaper with eyeholes cut out. "We could just reassign all the normal police into secret police. The beauty of it is that we won't have to bother solving crimes if it doesn't benefit the government! It's what we've always wanted! Not what the people want of course, but if they complain we can just make them... disappear."

Nobody Expects The Tarabostes Inquisition!
The Issue

Some key figures of Tarabostes's major religious groups have requested government sponsorship for the institution of an inquisition to try heretics and blasphemers.

The Debate

1. Cardinal Mortimer Gratwick, Archbishop of Tarabostes's capital, demands you kiss his ring before telling you, "the Church encourages the formation of an Inquisition. However, it will only be to try those in error and put them on the right track to holiness; you needn't worry about those nasty thumb-screws and we haven't had a rack in ages, so we won't be torturing people. Of course, in order to bring this noble plan into effect, the Holy Office must have jurisdiction over the civil courts."

2. "This is bloody outrageous!" screams Chastity Thiesen, head of the nation's most important civil liberties movement, People for the Ethical Treatment of Everything, while jumping up and down in front of a television camera. "These damn ultra-conservatives will plunge us all into chaos! Tarabostes can never have an Inquisition! Everyone should have the right to think, say, believe, etc, whatever the damn they please. When was the last time you released a dove on a monthly basis? Huh? HUH?! That's what I thought! It's time to move beyond these primitive beliefs!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

3. "The people of Tarabostes need more than an Inquisition," pronounces Buffy Steele, known fundamentalist tele-preacher, who pauses hawking the complete DVD collection to make some demands. "We must persecute all those who do not live according to the Book! The Lord has told me that the time has arrived to bring back the good old days! Back when we didn't have all these touchy-feely, fuzzy-headed punishments. Prison? Ha! Like that's a punishment! Stick those heathens in the stocks, or even better: bring back stonings! It'll bring us into a new golden age!"

Sacramental Tax Time?
The Issue

Secularists have been urging for the government to impose an income tax on religious organizations in Tarabostes for some time now, and the issue has finally made it's way to the upper levels of the government.

The Debate

1. Self-appointed civil rights spokesman Bill Licorish declares, "Churches are business organizations with a large income. It's unfair that they don't have to pay the same taxes that everyone else does. If they really do spend on any money on charity, let them write it off as a deduction just like corporations do. There's no reason that so-called clergy should be chauffeured around in limos tax-free, when we desperately need funds for public works."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

2. "Freedom of conscience is foremost among liberties," says Reverend Tobias Hamilton. "Churches have been exempted from taxation because it is wrong for the government to infringe on the right of people to worship as they please, and that includes charging them for the right to worship. Besides, churches are non-profit organizations that put all their funds back into the community."

3. The Honorable Max Falopian, Minister of Minding Other People's Business, has an idea: "This religion thing is such a great racket, why don't we make it a government monopoly? We'll ban all religions except the Church of Tarabostes, and make attendance and donations compulsory. I'll start writing the Holy Scriptures right away!"