Tarabostes Decides:
Eminent Domain: Inherent Right Or Daylight Robbery?
The Issue
A furious debate over eminent domain, or compulsory purchase, the government's right to take a citizen's private property without permission, has erupted after the government evicted hundreds of people from their homes to make way for a new shopping complex and a bypass.
The Debate
1. "Eminent Domain? More like outright theft!" cries Freddy Love, whose house was bulldozed. "They took away my home! I have to move everything in my life somewhere else because of the whims of some fruitcake city planner? It's lunacy! This blatant power abuse mustn't be allowed to continue. The government should require explicit permission before taking private property!"
2. "You can't be serious," objects Falala Steele, a city planner. "You've got to have bypasses. Eminent domain's essential! Without it we'd actually have to pay for the property we were steali- ah- expropriating and that would mean lots of boring paperwork and be much more expensive. If we really need to build something, say a bypass to ease congestion, do you really want that to be stopped because one person says no? We need eminent domain to let Tarabostes make progress. In fact we could cut costs even more if we didn't have to pay compensation..."
3. "I do believe we should retain our right to eminent domain," says Lars Chicago, your Minister of Miscellaneous Amenities. "But to use it for private industry is just immoral and corrupting. We really ought to only use eminent domain for the purpose of building public utilities like hospitals, schools, and carparks."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
We Need Cash, Sharpish, Say Librarians.
The Issue
Ailing libraries have appealed to the government for a much-needed injection of funds.
The Debate
1. "Our libraries are in a dreadful state," says distressed librarian, Roxanne Chicago. "This year we had to cancel our subscription to 'Playboy' and over half of our shelves are stacked with pamphlets from the Pizzeria across the road. We need more books and better standards. If there were more perks in this job then maybe we'd get some decent employees! If it needs a whole lot of government funds to pay for it all then so be it!"
2. "Now hold it right there!" says manager of the local MEGA-BOOKS store, Prudence Mombota. "I employ twenty-four people and we are dependent upon people paying us money to buy books, magazines and newspapers from my store. How can you even think about giving our tax forlorns to these people so they can put us out of business? 'Course poor people won't be able to afford our wares but they'd only use them for fires or somethin'. Let our libraries die."
3. "I'm all for giving our libraries more money," says Education Minister, Violet Wong. "But we certainly shouldn't just let them spend it however they please. We need an elected board to oversee all purchases and acquisitions made by our library system, promoting educational literature and keeping out smut. That way we can keep nudity out of the hands of children. We can make sure none of those political satires and newspapers that insult our government affect the weak-minded amongst us too. Then our libraries will be something to be proud of."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
4. "Great Scot! I've got it!" exclaims Zeke Jong-Il, your science advisor. "Why do we need these brick and mortar buildings anyway? Let's just scan all these books, newspapers and magazines onto the internet and then we can fire all those expensive librarians with their pensions and healthcare benefits. Think of the money we'd save if we didn't have to print everything! Sure it'll be tough on the librarians and those with no computers but hey, this is the future and they are the past."
Secret Police In Tarabostes?
The Issue
Anarchists have been covertly putting up anti-government posters all over Tarabostes. Some of your closest advisors have suggested the implementation of a secret police force to deal with the more... difficult members of society.
The Debate
1. "Sometimes a government has got to deal with something without having to go through the 'proper channels'," says May Dredd, who does not exist within any of Tarabostes's records. "It happens sometimes and we have to deal with it. It's not just anarchists either - it's the terrorists, the criminals, the traitors, and the goddamn hippies. With a secret police we can arrest the troublemakers and torture them to find other dissenters without having to worry about fiddly matters like human rights."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Don't listen to that idiot!" whispers Tobias Jefferson, one of your more guilt-ridden henchpersons. "I don't know how you feel about this but I think this would be a bad path for our government to go down. Tarabostes shouldn't resort to deceit and off-the-record brutality to put away people. A secret police force would ruin our fine nation. It's time our government was candid with its people and let them say what they want!"
3. "Or how about we be candid AND have a secret police force," says Hack Love your head spy from behind a newspaper with eyeholes cut out. "We could just reassign all the normal police into secret police. The beauty of it is that we won't have to bother solving crimes if it doesn't benefit the government! It's what we've always wanted! Not what the people want of course, but if they complain we can just make them... disappear."
Nobody Expects The Tarabostes Inquisition!
The Issue
Some key figures of Tarabostes's major religious groups have requested government sponsorship for the institution of an inquisition to try heretics and blasphemers.
The Debate
1. Cardinal Mortimer Gratwick, Archbishop of Tarabostes's capital, demands you kiss his ring before telling you, "the Church encourages the formation of an Inquisition. However, it will only be to try those in error and put them on the right track to holiness; you needn't worry about those nasty thumb-screws and we haven't had a rack in ages, so we won't be torturing people. Of course, in order to bring this noble plan into effect, the Holy Office must have jurisdiction over the civil courts."
2. "This is bloody outrageous!" screams Chastity Thiesen, head of the nation's most important civil liberties movement, People for the Ethical Treatment of Everything, while jumping up and down in front of a television camera. "These damn ultra-conservatives will plunge us all into chaos! Tarabostes can never have an Inquisition! Everyone should have the right to think, say, believe, etc, whatever the damn they please. When was the last time you released a dove on a monthly basis? Huh? HUH?! That's what I thought! It's time to move beyond these primitive beliefs!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
3. "The people of Tarabostes need more than an Inquisition," pronounces Buffy Steele, known fundamentalist tele-preacher, who pauses hawking the complete DVD collection to make some demands. "We must persecute all those who do not live according to the Book! The Lord has told me that the time has arrived to bring back the good old days! Back when we didn't have all these touchy-feely, fuzzy-headed punishments. Prison? Ha! Like that's a punishment! Stick those heathens in the stocks, or even better: bring back stonings! It'll bring us into a new golden age!"
Sacramental Tax Time?
The Issue
Secularists have been urging for the government to impose an income tax on religious organizations in Tarabostes for some time now, and the issue has finally made it's way to the upper levels of the government.
The Debate
1. Self-appointed civil rights spokesman Bill Licorish declares, "Churches are business organizations with a large income. It's unfair that they don't have to pay the same taxes that everyone else does. If they really do spend on any money on charity, let them write it off as a deduction just like corporations do. There's no reason that so-called clergy should be chauffeured around in limos tax-free, when we desperately need funds for public works."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Freedom of conscience is foremost among liberties," says Reverend Tobias Hamilton. "Churches have been exempted from taxation because it is wrong for the government to infringe on the right of people to worship as they please, and that includes charging them for the right to worship. Besides, churches are non-profit organizations that put all their funds back into the community."
3. The Honorable Max Falopian, Minister of Minding Other People's Business, has an idea: "This religion thing is such a great racket, why don't we make it a government monopoly? We'll ban all religions except the Church of Tarabostes, and make attendance and donations compulsory. I'll start writing the Holy Scriptures right away!"
miercuri, 20 februarie 2008
Carele va sa zica
The Federation of Tarabostes
"Assimilation by preparation"
UN Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights: Some
Economy: Good
Political Freedoms: Outlawed
Location: Romania
Regional Influence: Truckler
Tarabostes is a UN Member
The Federation of Tarabostes is a huge, safe nation, notable for its compulsory military service. Its compassionate, cynical population of 418 million are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defence. The average income tax rate is 100%. A large private sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry.
The government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress, school uniforms are compulsory, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been recorded, and the government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tarabostes's national animal is the sabertooth-tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the forlorn.
Tarabostes is ranked 21st in the region and 14,967th in the world for Largest Public Transport Department.
United Nations Activity
Endorsements Received: 9 (Istrians, Ulpia Sarmisegetuza, Lizuca, Poliarchy, Negru-Voda, Los Santos - Excelsior, Imperatorium, Brailaa, Triajnon)
"Assimilation by preparation"
UN Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights: Some
Economy: Good
Political Freedoms: Outlawed
Location: Romania
Regional Influence: Truckler
Tarabostes is a UN Member
The Federation of Tarabostes is a huge, safe nation, notable for its compulsory military service. Its compassionate, cynical population of 418 million are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defence. The average income tax rate is 100%. A large private sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry.
The government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress, school uniforms are compulsory, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been recorded, and the government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tarabostes's national animal is the sabertooth-tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the forlorn.
Tarabostes is ranked 21st in the region and 14,967th in the world for Largest Public Transport Department.
United Nations Activity
Endorsements Received: 9 (Istrians, Ulpia Sarmisegetuza, Lizuca, Poliarchy, Negru-Voda, Los Santos - Excelsior, Imperatorium, Brailaa, Triajnon)
luni, 18 februarie 2008
Se-ncinge treaba
Tarabostes Decides:
Power Problems Need Bright Solution
The Issue
The oldest power station in Tarabostes suffered a catastrophic failure last night, plunging a third of Tarabostes's national power supply grid into darkness. There is no debate that it needs to be replaced, but the question is with what?
The Debate
1. "The solution is clear," says environmental activist Prudence O'Bannon. "Wind turbines and solar power stations are the cleanest there are. We must switch power production to forms of renewable energy, that will never run out. The only minor problems are that wind farms will take up a great deal of space and of course we can't exactly rely on the weather. It isn't as though we control it. But think of how much healthier people will be without all that pollution!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Wind power? Solar collectors? Bah! Have you ever wondered when the least amount of strain is placed on the national grid? WHEN THE SUN IS SHINING!" exclaims Southern Tarabostes Electra official Akira Steele. "We need power under our control, and cheaply. Coal has been the cheapest and most abundant power source for ages. We don't need this airy fairy wind malarky when we have cheap and reliable power available for all. True, pollution will be a bit on the heavy side but I'm sure that's only a minor problem, with how well funded our health system is!"
3. "Now the way I see it is that it's either green, expensive, and sprawling; or compact, polluting and cheap. Wouldn't it be nice if we had the best of both worlds? Well, we can!" claims fission technician Buffy Mombota. "Nuclear power is reliable, clean, and although it isn't cheap, it won't break the bank. There is a risk of deadly meltdown, but this is relatively small, and the only people who could be against this are anti-nuclear protesters, but what do we care about those tree-hugging hippies?"
Spare The Rod, Demand Welfare Activists
The Issue
The Tarabostes S.P.C.C. has launched a fresh campaign to stop parents from smacking their children. They demand that the government introduce laws to ban this form of 'corporal punishment'.
The Debate
1. Child Psychiatrist, Dr. Calvin Hendrikson, speaks at a press conference on the matter: "Parents and teachers must realise that smacking children increases aggressiveness, lowers their self-esteem, and can cause long-term emotional trauma! How can anybody think that it is anything but child abuse? Parents who resort to smacking their children are obviously unfit to be parents at all! We must ban this horrible practice at once!"
2. "What are these lunatics on about?!" yells Johann Licorish, a concerned parent. "Smacking children has been an effective form of punishment since the dawn of mankind! Outlaw it and I guarantee you the next generation will be a disorderly disaster! Children need, nay CRAVE discipline! Sometimes the only language they understand is the cane, and the government has to respect that!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Road Rage Rampage
The Issue
Due to the ever-increasing traffic on Tarabostes's highways, commuter tempers are flaring, leading to an increase in road rage related accidents. A recent case in which a very impatient driver attacked and seriously injured a slow driver has brought the subject rapidly to the highest levels of the government.
The Debate
1. "The problem is that our highway system is sorely in need of an overhaul," claims social commentator George W. Wong. "Tarabostes's highways were constructed with a far smaller number of cars in mind, and we've exceeded that traffic load by a substantial amount, resulting in traffic jams. Traffic jams lead to impatience, impatience leads to anger, anger leads to road rage, and road rage leads to violence. We need to expand the freeway system by adding more lanes to relieve the traffic congestion."
2. "You add new lanes, even MORE people will drive, putting us right back at square one!" counters Peggy Thiesen of Tarabostes's public transportation committee. "Instead of throwing tons of money at a short-term solution, why not spend it on improving bus and rail service and encouraging carpooling? Oh, and get more highway patrol officers to crack down on these violent drivers who pose safety threats to the rest of us."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
3. "*BLEEP!* that *BLEEP!*" Catherine Gratwick yells at the top of her lungs from the window of her very large pickup truck with a gun rack mounted in the rear window. "The government should just *BLEEP!*ing stay out of our daily *BLEEP!*ing drive! They ought to let us *BLEEP!*ing rushed businesspeople go about our daily *BLEEP!*ing business, no matter what *BLEEP!*ing measures we have to take to get to *BLEEP!*ing work on time!
A Uniform Plan For Tarabostes's Students?
The Issue
A random PTA meeting has brought the debate over school uniforms to your attention.
The Debate
1. "I think uniforms are great," says Elizabeth Rifkin, your Minister of Education during a cabinet meeting. "They instil a sense of community within our schools which lowers crime - and the pupils can go about their daily business without having to worry about being browbeaten by their classmates for not wearing the latest trainers. Tarabostes simply cannot do without them. If the children don't like them, then hard cheese."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Dude, your plan stinks," says May Longfellow, leader of The Students Union. "Our clothing is part of who we are; it lets us express ourselves just by passing someone in the corridor. To say we must wear these inhibiting uniforms is an affront to our personal freedom! So back off with the uniforms, dude, students should be allowed to go to school dressed however they like. Or not dressed, if that's their style."
Computer Users Fed Up With Heaps of Spam!
The Issue
A survey citing a tremendous increase in unsolicited emails has added fire to the subject of what many view as a scourge of the Internet.
The Debate
1. "The spam problem is out of control," states anti-spam advocate Buy Longbottom. "I get at least fifty spam e-mails a day. That isn't even counting the spam people are posting to my newsgroup and to my messageboard. This junk is a waste of time in that I have to delete it and a waste of my money in that I have to buy anti-spam programs-which hardly work anyway. People get swindled by this stuff - it should be a crime, just like regular fraud."
2. "A ban on all spam is a restriction on our freedom of speech and on the freedom of the press!" screams Steffan Winters president of Citizens for Internet Freedom. "What is the government to say what is and isn't commercial spam? Could they haul charity representatives off to jail for seeking donations? Could they jail politicians for using e-mail to try and gain votes? Could they arrest me if I accidentally send my erotic novel-in-progress to the wrong address? Seriously, spamming is a subjective offense and as such should not be considered a crime."
3. "Both sides are wrong," grumbles government paper-pusher Buffy Hamilton. "Spam is definitely a problem, yet so is the restriction on freedoms which some draconian anti-spam codes would impose. I propose a ban on overtly fraudulent spam, and a tax on more legitimate businesses that rely on spam as an advertising method, and a strict legal definition of spam that would ensure no innocent person was prosecuted or taxed."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Power Problems Need Bright Solution
The Issue
The oldest power station in Tarabostes suffered a catastrophic failure last night, plunging a third of Tarabostes's national power supply grid into darkness. There is no debate that it needs to be replaced, but the question is with what?
The Debate
1. "The solution is clear," says environmental activist Prudence O'Bannon. "Wind turbines and solar power stations are the cleanest there are. We must switch power production to forms of renewable energy, that will never run out. The only minor problems are that wind farms will take up a great deal of space and of course we can't exactly rely on the weather. It isn't as though we control it. But think of how much healthier people will be without all that pollution!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Wind power? Solar collectors? Bah! Have you ever wondered when the least amount of strain is placed on the national grid? WHEN THE SUN IS SHINING!" exclaims Southern Tarabostes Electra official Akira Steele. "We need power under our control, and cheaply. Coal has been the cheapest and most abundant power source for ages. We don't need this airy fairy wind malarky when we have cheap and reliable power available for all. True, pollution will be a bit on the heavy side but I'm sure that's only a minor problem, with how well funded our health system is!"
3. "Now the way I see it is that it's either green, expensive, and sprawling; or compact, polluting and cheap. Wouldn't it be nice if we had the best of both worlds? Well, we can!" claims fission technician Buffy Mombota. "Nuclear power is reliable, clean, and although it isn't cheap, it won't break the bank. There is a risk of deadly meltdown, but this is relatively small, and the only people who could be against this are anti-nuclear protesters, but what do we care about those tree-hugging hippies?"
Spare The Rod, Demand Welfare Activists
The Issue
The Tarabostes S.P.C.C. has launched a fresh campaign to stop parents from smacking their children. They demand that the government introduce laws to ban this form of 'corporal punishment'.
The Debate
1. Child Psychiatrist, Dr. Calvin Hendrikson, speaks at a press conference on the matter: "Parents and teachers must realise that smacking children increases aggressiveness, lowers their self-esteem, and can cause long-term emotional trauma! How can anybody think that it is anything but child abuse? Parents who resort to smacking their children are obviously unfit to be parents at all! We must ban this horrible practice at once!"
2. "What are these lunatics on about?!" yells Johann Licorish, a concerned parent. "Smacking children has been an effective form of punishment since the dawn of mankind! Outlaw it and I guarantee you the next generation will be a disorderly disaster! Children need, nay CRAVE discipline! Sometimes the only language they understand is the cane, and the government has to respect that!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Road Rage Rampage
The Issue
Due to the ever-increasing traffic on Tarabostes's highways, commuter tempers are flaring, leading to an increase in road rage related accidents. A recent case in which a very impatient driver attacked and seriously injured a slow driver has brought the subject rapidly to the highest levels of the government.
The Debate
1. "The problem is that our highway system is sorely in need of an overhaul," claims social commentator George W. Wong. "Tarabostes's highways were constructed with a far smaller number of cars in mind, and we've exceeded that traffic load by a substantial amount, resulting in traffic jams. Traffic jams lead to impatience, impatience leads to anger, anger leads to road rage, and road rage leads to violence. We need to expand the freeway system by adding more lanes to relieve the traffic congestion."
2. "You add new lanes, even MORE people will drive, putting us right back at square one!" counters Peggy Thiesen of Tarabostes's public transportation committee. "Instead of throwing tons of money at a short-term solution, why not spend it on improving bus and rail service and encouraging carpooling? Oh, and get more highway patrol officers to crack down on these violent drivers who pose safety threats to the rest of us."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
3. "*BLEEP!* that *BLEEP!*" Catherine Gratwick yells at the top of her lungs from the window of her very large pickup truck with a gun rack mounted in the rear window. "The government should just *BLEEP!*ing stay out of our daily *BLEEP!*ing drive! They ought to let us *BLEEP!*ing rushed businesspeople go about our daily *BLEEP!*ing business, no matter what *BLEEP!*ing measures we have to take to get to *BLEEP!*ing work on time!
A Uniform Plan For Tarabostes's Students?
The Issue
A random PTA meeting has brought the debate over school uniforms to your attention.
The Debate
1. "I think uniforms are great," says Elizabeth Rifkin, your Minister of Education during a cabinet meeting. "They instil a sense of community within our schools which lowers crime - and the pupils can go about their daily business without having to worry about being browbeaten by their classmates for not wearing the latest trainers. Tarabostes simply cannot do without them. If the children don't like them, then hard cheese."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Dude, your plan stinks," says May Longfellow, leader of The Students Union. "Our clothing is part of who we are; it lets us express ourselves just by passing someone in the corridor. To say we must wear these inhibiting uniforms is an affront to our personal freedom! So back off with the uniforms, dude, students should be allowed to go to school dressed however they like. Or not dressed, if that's their style."
Computer Users Fed Up With Heaps of Spam!
The Issue
A survey citing a tremendous increase in unsolicited emails has added fire to the subject of what many view as a scourge of the Internet.
The Debate
1. "The spam problem is out of control," states anti-spam advocate Buy Longbottom. "I get at least fifty spam e-mails a day. That isn't even counting the spam people are posting to my newsgroup and to my messageboard. This junk is a waste of time in that I have to delete it and a waste of my money in that I have to buy anti-spam programs-which hardly work anyway. People get swindled by this stuff - it should be a crime, just like regular fraud."
2. "A ban on all spam is a restriction on our freedom of speech and on the freedom of the press!" screams Steffan Winters president of Citizens for Internet Freedom. "What is the government to say what is and isn't commercial spam? Could they haul charity representatives off to jail for seeking donations? Could they jail politicians for using e-mail to try and gain votes? Could they arrest me if I accidentally send my erotic novel-in-progress to the wrong address? Seriously, spamming is a subjective offense and as such should not be considered a crime."
3. "Both sides are wrong," grumbles government paper-pusher Buffy Hamilton. "Spam is definitely a problem, yet so is the restriction on freedoms which some draconian anti-spam codes would impose. I propose a ban on overtly fraudulent spam, and a tax on more legitimate businesses that rely on spam as an advertising method, and a strict legal definition of spam that would ensure no innocent person was prosecuted or taxed."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
vineri, 15 februarie 2008
VREAU!
Tarabostes Decides:
Nazi Sympathizers Plan Rally
The Issue
Far-right-wing Nazi supporters plan to stage a rally in the city center tomorrow, giving voice to their violent, racist views.
The Debate
1. "Frankly, I'm appalled that the government can even consider allowing this travesty to go ahead," says prominent Jewish personality Beth Mombota. "We can't let these animals broadcast their message of hate. Surely Tarabostes is too civilized for that."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "It's exactly because we're civilized that we must let the demonstration proceed," says free speech campaigner Charles Wall. "We may not like what they have to say, but in this society, people have the right to argue whatever political view they want, no matter how hateful, selfish, or stupid it is."
Southern Tarabostes Demands Semi-Autonomy
The Issue
Politicians from a distant and obscure part of Tarabostes have been calling for the government to split Tarabostes into various semi-autonomous regions, each with an elected council to govern their designated area.
The Debate
1. "The government is too centralised," complains rural villager, Billy Rifkin. "We get these big-city politicians making rulings that affect our way of life, when they have absolutely no idea what our way of life is! One of them even suggested that farmers should be banned from picking crops in case they disturbed the local wildlife! What we need are various councils to govern their own part of Tarabostes, giving us the chance to have our say on laws affecting our area. It'll bring politics to the people! Of course this will require the implementation of a council tax to fund it all, but if that's the cost of more political freedom, then so be it!"
2. "Councils? Are you mad?" gasps political commentator, Lars Winters. "Most of the politicians we already have earn very large sums each year - and you want to employ even more?! We must not listen to the whims of some dangerous separatist movement; next they'll be wanting independence! I suggest we keep the government in one place where we can keep an eye on it and stop creating more jobs for over-paid politicians. Heck, why not trim off the ones we don't need while we're at it and give some leeway to the taxpayers? Anyway, if we allowed places like West Tarabostes to make decisions for themselves, they would soon be introducing laws allowing them to marry their cousins or something - you know what they're like..."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
3. "These people are obviously power-hungry lunatics," whispers Hope Dredd, one of your innumerable advisors. "They're simply trying to loosen your grip on the nation! Let's just send anyone who opposes your absolute rule to the gallows and ban elections. We hardly need them when you always know what to do! There may be some protest, but we can just lower taxes and they'll be as happy as clams."
Blood Banks Running Dry
The Issue
A violent and rather messy stampede of sabertooth-tigers during a parade in your honour has brought widespread media attention to the shortage of blood, plasma and platelet donors in Tarabostes.
The Debate
1. "Blood donation should be compulsory!" argues Faith Johnson, a spokesperson for the Tarabostes Blood Donors' Association. "We can't expect citizens to come flocking to donate blood just out of the goodness of their hearts, so the government should take the matter into its own hands. If we could maybe require healthy citizens to... let's say... donate blood every three months, we wouldn't have such a problem with shortages. It'll require more funding to organise and carry out, yes, but your people are worth it, aren't they?"
2. "Don't listen to that devil worshipper!" preaches Jazz Wu, a Jehovah's Witness. "It isn't up to us to decide what should be done, it is God, and only God, who decides what someone should do with their blood. I'd rather die clean and go to Heaven, thank you very much! We must heed this Gospel and ban blood donations now! Of course some people will die, but they will be rewarded in the afterlife for obeying His word."
3. "You're kidding, right?" burbles anaemic patient Pete Gutenberg from a hospital bed. "I'm not going to let some closed-minded priest tell me what I can and can't do with my blood! But I don't think people should be forced to give blood; they just need incentive, that's all. Like money. Trust me, any kind of 'forlorns For Blood' scheme will have them almost begging to donate. It's the only humane way to ensure that people like me are getting the care we need. If you're worried about funding just get it from those religious nuts... they're not helping anyone with it."
4. "I have an even better idea," says Zeke Chicago, a prison officer. "How about we force every healthy prisoner to donate blood? It's about time they gave back to society what they've taken away in the first place. If we do this we won't have to beg the law-abiding citizens of Tarabostes to take time out of their day to give blood. It's not like these thugs are really doing anything for us, so missing a pint or three won't matter, am I right?"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Build Bigger Bombs, Advise Scientists
The Issue
Top military designers in your secret laboratories have proposed projects to create nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons and are looking to you for government support and funding.
The Debate
1. "This is a necessary step towards the creation of a safer Tarabostes," claims Freddy Christmas, the leading researcher. "Yes, it will mean a large areas of land will become unusable as a result of the testing, and it will cost billions of forlorns, but that's the price we must pay for our national security. Just think of the power we will have if we can turn our enemies into plate glass!"
2. "Why stop with making weapons for ourselves?" asks Buffy Wall, CEO of Wendy's Weapons stores. "We can sell them to all sorts of groups and organisations: other nations, the UN, terror- uh - freedom fighters, anyone! And we produce our own for our protection. Think of the money we can make! I'm sure none of our clients would ever even think of trying to use them to influence our government with threats or anything like that!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
3. "You want to bring NUKES into Tarabostes?!" screams anti-nuclear protestor, Melbourne Nagasawa. "This won't make us safer - it will just give the power to destroy everything to a few people! We must hunt down the people who suggested this evil plan and have them hanged! We must protect nature from the horrible influences of science. I say ban all new weapons research!"
Streaker in Snooker Game Fiasco
The Issue
After a sixty year old man with psoriasis streaked past cameras and millions of sports fans during the snooker league playoffs, protesters have called for tougher action.
The Debate
1. "This can't go on!" says traumatized snooker player Chastity du Pont, "Children are watching sports and having them exposed to this lewd behaviour is unacceptable! I demand that these people be locked up for several years and maybe they'll have learnt their lesson!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Oh don't be ridiculous!" scoffs prolific streaker Randy Hendrikson, "It's all just a bit of fun and the kids shouldn't be wrapped in cotton wool, or they'll learn nothing! Sports are so dull anyway, it needs a little bare skin to liven it up. Streaking should be legal!"
Nazi Sympathizers Plan Rally
The Issue
Far-right-wing Nazi supporters plan to stage a rally in the city center tomorrow, giving voice to their violent, racist views.
The Debate
1. "Frankly, I'm appalled that the government can even consider allowing this travesty to go ahead," says prominent Jewish personality Beth Mombota. "We can't let these animals broadcast their message of hate. Surely Tarabostes is too civilized for that."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "It's exactly because we're civilized that we must let the demonstration proceed," says free speech campaigner Charles Wall. "We may not like what they have to say, but in this society, people have the right to argue whatever political view they want, no matter how hateful, selfish, or stupid it is."
Southern Tarabostes Demands Semi-Autonomy
The Issue
Politicians from a distant and obscure part of Tarabostes have been calling for the government to split Tarabostes into various semi-autonomous regions, each with an elected council to govern their designated area.
The Debate
1. "The government is too centralised," complains rural villager, Billy Rifkin. "We get these big-city politicians making rulings that affect our way of life, when they have absolutely no idea what our way of life is! One of them even suggested that farmers should be banned from picking crops in case they disturbed the local wildlife! What we need are various councils to govern their own part of Tarabostes, giving us the chance to have our say on laws affecting our area. It'll bring politics to the people! Of course this will require the implementation of a council tax to fund it all, but if that's the cost of more political freedom, then so be it!"
2. "Councils? Are you mad?" gasps political commentator, Lars Winters. "Most of the politicians we already have earn very large sums each year - and you want to employ even more?! We must not listen to the whims of some dangerous separatist movement; next they'll be wanting independence! I suggest we keep the government in one place where we can keep an eye on it and stop creating more jobs for over-paid politicians. Heck, why not trim off the ones we don't need while we're at it and give some leeway to the taxpayers? Anyway, if we allowed places like West Tarabostes to make decisions for themselves, they would soon be introducing laws allowing them to marry their cousins or something - you know what they're like..."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
3. "These people are obviously power-hungry lunatics," whispers Hope Dredd, one of your innumerable advisors. "They're simply trying to loosen your grip on the nation! Let's just send anyone who opposes your absolute rule to the gallows and ban elections. We hardly need them when you always know what to do! There may be some protest, but we can just lower taxes and they'll be as happy as clams."
Blood Banks Running Dry
The Issue
A violent and rather messy stampede of sabertooth-tigers during a parade in your honour has brought widespread media attention to the shortage of blood, plasma and platelet donors in Tarabostes.
The Debate
1. "Blood donation should be compulsory!" argues Faith Johnson, a spokesperson for the Tarabostes Blood Donors' Association. "We can't expect citizens to come flocking to donate blood just out of the goodness of their hearts, so the government should take the matter into its own hands. If we could maybe require healthy citizens to... let's say... donate blood every three months, we wouldn't have such a problem with shortages. It'll require more funding to organise and carry out, yes, but your people are worth it, aren't they?"
2. "Don't listen to that devil worshipper!" preaches Jazz Wu, a Jehovah's Witness. "It isn't up to us to decide what should be done, it is God, and only God, who decides what someone should do with their blood. I'd rather die clean and go to Heaven, thank you very much! We must heed this Gospel and ban blood donations now! Of course some people will die, but they will be rewarded in the afterlife for obeying His word."
3. "You're kidding, right?" burbles anaemic patient Pete Gutenberg from a hospital bed. "I'm not going to let some closed-minded priest tell me what I can and can't do with my blood! But I don't think people should be forced to give blood; they just need incentive, that's all. Like money. Trust me, any kind of 'forlorns For Blood' scheme will have them almost begging to donate. It's the only humane way to ensure that people like me are getting the care we need. If you're worried about funding just get it from those religious nuts... they're not helping anyone with it."
4. "I have an even better idea," says Zeke Chicago, a prison officer. "How about we force every healthy prisoner to donate blood? It's about time they gave back to society what they've taken away in the first place. If we do this we won't have to beg the law-abiding citizens of Tarabostes to take time out of their day to give blood. It's not like these thugs are really doing anything for us, so missing a pint or three won't matter, am I right?"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Build Bigger Bombs, Advise Scientists
The Issue
Top military designers in your secret laboratories have proposed projects to create nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons and are looking to you for government support and funding.
The Debate
1. "This is a necessary step towards the creation of a safer Tarabostes," claims Freddy Christmas, the leading researcher. "Yes, it will mean a large areas of land will become unusable as a result of the testing, and it will cost billions of forlorns, but that's the price we must pay for our national security. Just think of the power we will have if we can turn our enemies into plate glass!"
2. "Why stop with making weapons for ourselves?" asks Buffy Wall, CEO of Wendy's Weapons stores. "We can sell them to all sorts of groups and organisations: other nations, the UN, terror- uh - freedom fighters, anyone! And we produce our own for our protection. Think of the money we can make! I'm sure none of our clients would ever even think of trying to use them to influence our government with threats or anything like that!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
3. "You want to bring NUKES into Tarabostes?!" screams anti-nuclear protestor, Melbourne Nagasawa. "This won't make us safer - it will just give the power to destroy everything to a few people! We must hunt down the people who suggested this evil plan and have them hanged! We must protect nature from the horrible influences of science. I say ban all new weapons research!"
Streaker in Snooker Game Fiasco
The Issue
After a sixty year old man with psoriasis streaked past cameras and millions of sports fans during the snooker league playoffs, protesters have called for tougher action.
The Debate
1. "This can't go on!" says traumatized snooker player Chastity du Pont, "Children are watching sports and having them exposed to this lewd behaviour is unacceptable! I demand that these people be locked up for several years and maybe they'll have learnt their lesson!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Oh don't be ridiculous!" scoffs prolific streaker Randy Hendrikson, "It's all just a bit of fun and the kids shouldn't be wrapped in cotton wool, or they'll learn nothing! Sports are so dull anyway, it needs a little bare skin to liven it up. Streaking should be legal!"
luni, 11 februarie 2008
Eu's d'acord!
Tarabostes Decides:
Think Tank Proposes Privatised Prisons
The Issue
In response to increasing costs of running state prisons, several government advisors have suggested allowing the private sector to play a greater role in managing Tarabostes's correctional facilities.
The Debate
1. "Tarabostes's prisons are in a ghastly state," says Anne-Marie Bush, representative for several large businesses. "The state now pays a fortune in forlorns each day for every prisoner. My clients will be able to operate the prisons more efficiently and charge the state far less than they're having to pay now. With our help, those in jail will be able to get themselves jobs to do and the government can imprison as many people as they like!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "This is just another scheme by multinational corporations to turn our great nation into a corporate dictatorship!" claims George W. Bush, of the Social Justice League of Tarabostes. "Just say NO to privatised prisons. We should be closing them all down so we can begin focusing on rehabilitation anyway!"
3. "Private prisons?! Rehabilitation?! How utterly ridiculous!" exclaims Steffan Gutenberg, Tarabostes's toughest police officer. "Both of these proposals will simply waste resources on the scum of society. I say that we should summarily execute all violent criminals and give their property to their victims."
Oh, The Angst!
The Issue
In response to rising rates of depression related suicides, mental health groups have called for government funding to help support treatment programs, citing various surveys that indicate psychological disorders are often an overlooked problem.
The Debate
1. "Although it is often dismissed as an irrelevant complaint, depression is a real disease, it isn't just 'all in your head'," says Bianca Wall, depression sufferer. "Depression has significant effects on groups and individuals, especially amongst teenagers. Every day, more and more people commit suicide because of this disease, but this could all be stopped if this country had a decent level of funding for support and public awareness programs."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Screw them," Max Utopia, talkback radio host, stated yesterday. "Depression isn't a disease, it's just another example of today's youth finding something to complain about. Life's never been better. In fact, just yesterday, I bought my fourth BMW. And even if it is as serious as the bleeding hearts claim, then I say we leave it and cut some of the funding being wasted on these head cases. If a few whiners jump off a bridge, it'll be good for the genepool. Natural selection, my friends. It's a great thing."
3. "Actually, a lot of depression cases in teens are related to school and all the stress and pressure young people are under to succeed. A greater effort to correct the problem of depression should start there, with more funding so that schools can provide better counseling programs." Comments Dr. Billy-Bob Rifkin, author of the book "Tomato Soup for the Soul". "That way teens who are depressed can get help even if their parents can't or won't take them to see a psychologist."
Orbital Armageddon?
The Issue
The space research organization in Tarabostes has requested more government funding for space-related research and development, and the possiblity of creating orbital weapons platforms has become a topic of intense debate.
The Debate
1. General Max Mistletoe says, "We should spend more. But not just on exploration. We should start developing Orbital Weapons! Space Marines! Armed Spacecraft! We would rule the region, and look cool doing it! Just divert some funding from environmental protection, and BAM! Sci-fi goodies!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. Noted Scientist and pacifist writer Hack Bush thinks otherwise, "No! Space is a place for peace! It's the only place left we've got that we haven't screwed up. Oh, the space program still needs funding, don't get me wrong, but none of this 'military in space' stuff will do! We ought to divert funding from the military to education and space research instead!"
3. Fringe Group Leader Clint McGuffin disagrees, "Space is a total waste of time. We should spend more on stuff people actually CARE about. Like voting rights and protecting the environment! Forget that fancy-schmancy space station!"
Bug 'em All, Say Police
The Issue
The Tarabostes police force have come to you for permission to use phone taps to trace suspected criminals.
The Debate
1. "This is a great idea," says police officer Beth Chicago. "We can never have too much evidence in a case, and this will be of enormous help to us at reducing crime and seeing that those who deserve punishment get justice! If we could just get those silly privacy laws repealed and some funding we could find out stuff the government wants to know too."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "This is an unacceptable intrusion into the personal lives of the population," says Pip Silk while checking under your chair for bugs. "Just imagine all of the sensitive personal information that the police will pick up! Would you like someone listening to your calls to your mother or your lover? I think not! Laws should be passed so that the government and police can't stick their big noses where they're not wanted!"
"Give Us Money!" Quoth the Poet
The Issue
The National Poetry Society of Tarabostes is demanding government-funded programs to promote the arts, especially poetry.
The Debate
1. "We need government help to promote culture." says Bill Wong, chairperson of the National Poetry Society of Tarabostes. "Poetry is the soul of our nation, the very pulse of humanity! We will ultimately be judged according to our contribution to artistic enlightenment. In other words, please provide funding for our humble mission to bring the beauty of poetry to the masses!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Artists and poets should support themselves, like everyone else," replies Roger Mombota, spokesperson for the Capitalism Now Party. "The suffering taxpayers should be given a break. In fact, we should abolish all government subsidies for special interest groups."
3. "Poets--who needs them?!" scoffs May Rubin, Chairperson Emeritus of the Troglodyte Coalition. "These long-haired troublemakers should all be lined up against the wall and shot! That would be far more entertaining than reading some dumb poems!"
Think Tank Proposes Privatised Prisons
The Issue
In response to increasing costs of running state prisons, several government advisors have suggested allowing the private sector to play a greater role in managing Tarabostes's correctional facilities.
The Debate
1. "Tarabostes's prisons are in a ghastly state," says Anne-Marie Bush, representative for several large businesses. "The state now pays a fortune in forlorns each day for every prisoner. My clients will be able to operate the prisons more efficiently and charge the state far less than they're having to pay now. With our help, those in jail will be able to get themselves jobs to do and the government can imprison as many people as they like!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "This is just another scheme by multinational corporations to turn our great nation into a corporate dictatorship!" claims George W. Bush, of the Social Justice League of Tarabostes. "Just say NO to privatised prisons. We should be closing them all down so we can begin focusing on rehabilitation anyway!"
3. "Private prisons?! Rehabilitation?! How utterly ridiculous!" exclaims Steffan Gutenberg, Tarabostes's toughest police officer. "Both of these proposals will simply waste resources on the scum of society. I say that we should summarily execute all violent criminals and give their property to their victims."
Oh, The Angst!
The Issue
In response to rising rates of depression related suicides, mental health groups have called for government funding to help support treatment programs, citing various surveys that indicate psychological disorders are often an overlooked problem.
The Debate
1. "Although it is often dismissed as an irrelevant complaint, depression is a real disease, it isn't just 'all in your head'," says Bianca Wall, depression sufferer. "Depression has significant effects on groups and individuals, especially amongst teenagers. Every day, more and more people commit suicide because of this disease, but this could all be stopped if this country had a decent level of funding for support and public awareness programs."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Screw them," Max Utopia, talkback radio host, stated yesterday. "Depression isn't a disease, it's just another example of today's youth finding something to complain about. Life's never been better. In fact, just yesterday, I bought my fourth BMW. And even if it is as serious as the bleeding hearts claim, then I say we leave it and cut some of the funding being wasted on these head cases. If a few whiners jump off a bridge, it'll be good for the genepool. Natural selection, my friends. It's a great thing."
3. "Actually, a lot of depression cases in teens are related to school and all the stress and pressure young people are under to succeed. A greater effort to correct the problem of depression should start there, with more funding so that schools can provide better counseling programs." Comments Dr. Billy-Bob Rifkin, author of the book "Tomato Soup for the Soul". "That way teens who are depressed can get help even if their parents can't or won't take them to see a psychologist."
Orbital Armageddon?
The Issue
The space research organization in Tarabostes has requested more government funding for space-related research and development, and the possiblity of creating orbital weapons platforms has become a topic of intense debate.
The Debate
1. General Max Mistletoe says, "We should spend more. But not just on exploration. We should start developing Orbital Weapons! Space Marines! Armed Spacecraft! We would rule the region, and look cool doing it! Just divert some funding from environmental protection, and BAM! Sci-fi goodies!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. Noted Scientist and pacifist writer Hack Bush thinks otherwise, "No! Space is a place for peace! It's the only place left we've got that we haven't screwed up. Oh, the space program still needs funding, don't get me wrong, but none of this 'military in space' stuff will do! We ought to divert funding from the military to education and space research instead!"
3. Fringe Group Leader Clint McGuffin disagrees, "Space is a total waste of time. We should spend more on stuff people actually CARE about. Like voting rights and protecting the environment! Forget that fancy-schmancy space station!"
Bug 'em All, Say Police
The Issue
The Tarabostes police force have come to you for permission to use phone taps to trace suspected criminals.
The Debate
1. "This is a great idea," says police officer Beth Chicago. "We can never have too much evidence in a case, and this will be of enormous help to us at reducing crime and seeing that those who deserve punishment get justice! If we could just get those silly privacy laws repealed and some funding we could find out stuff the government wants to know too."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "This is an unacceptable intrusion into the personal lives of the population," says Pip Silk while checking under your chair for bugs. "Just imagine all of the sensitive personal information that the police will pick up! Would you like someone listening to your calls to your mother or your lover? I think not! Laws should be passed so that the government and police can't stick their big noses where they're not wanted!"
"Give Us Money!" Quoth the Poet
The Issue
The National Poetry Society of Tarabostes is demanding government-funded programs to promote the arts, especially poetry.
The Debate
1. "We need government help to promote culture." says Bill Wong, chairperson of the National Poetry Society of Tarabostes. "Poetry is the soul of our nation, the very pulse of humanity! We will ultimately be judged according to our contribution to artistic enlightenment. In other words, please provide funding for our humble mission to bring the beauty of poetry to the masses!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Artists and poets should support themselves, like everyone else," replies Roger Mombota, spokesperson for the Capitalism Now Party. "The suffering taxpayers should be given a break. In fact, we should abolish all government subsidies for special interest groups."
3. "Poets--who needs them?!" scoffs May Rubin, Chairperson Emeritus of the Troglodyte Coalition. "These long-haired troublemakers should all be lined up against the wall and shot! That would be far more entertaining than reading some dumb poems!"
Statul Natiunii
The Federation of Tarabostes
"Assimilation by preparation"
UN Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights: Few
Economy: Developing
Political Freedoms: Outlawed
Location: Romania
Regional Influence: Truckler
Tarabostes is a UN Member
The Federation of Tarabostes is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service. Its compassionate, cynical population of 363 million are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, the Environment, and Education. The average income tax rate is 100%. A substantial private sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry.
Motorists' locations are constantly tracked by intelligence and law enforcement agencies, strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices, newspapers may not print any negative stories about the government, and people regularly disappear off the streets and all evidence of them is destroyed. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tarabostes's national animal is the sabertooth-tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the forlorn.
Tarabostes is ranked 66th in the region and 62,342nd in the world for Most Pro-Market Nations.
United Nations Activity
Endorsements Received: 10 (Istrians, Ulpia Sarmisegetuza, Lizuca, Poliarchy, Negru-Voda, CaliforniaKhann, Los Santos - Excelsior, Imperatorium, Brailaa, Triajnon)
"Assimilation by preparation"
UN Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights: Few
Economy: Developing
Political Freedoms: Outlawed
Location: Romania
Regional Influence: Truckler
Tarabostes is a UN Member
The Federation of Tarabostes is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service. Its compassionate, cynical population of 363 million are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, the Environment, and Education. The average income tax rate is 100%. A substantial private sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry.
Motorists' locations are constantly tracked by intelligence and law enforcement agencies, strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices, newspapers may not print any negative stories about the government, and people regularly disappear off the streets and all evidence of them is destroyed. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tarabostes's national animal is the sabertooth-tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the forlorn.
Tarabostes is ranked 66th in the region and 62,342nd in the world for Most Pro-Market Nations.
United Nations Activity
Endorsements Received: 10 (Istrians, Ulpia Sarmisegetuza, Lizuca, Poliarchy, Negru-Voda, CaliforniaKhann, Los Santos - Excelsior, Imperatorium, Brailaa, Triajnon)
vineri, 8 februarie 2008
Ascultati acum la mine
Tarabostes Decides:
Time To Put The Older Senators Out to Pasture?
The Issue
Many people are starting to think that it's time to put term limits on elected officials, given the average age of 70 years old and 40 years of service in the nation's Parliament.
The Debate
1. "It's time to get these lifetime politicians off the government payroll!" says term-limits advocate Tobias Christmas. "Let them get real jobs like the rest of us once they leave office. Besides, if they are currently a Senator, they can always run for another office like Governor. This gives people the right to elect whomever they want to run for office, just not the same office forever. It'll keep things from going completely stale!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Wait a minute," says Hack Rubin, chairman of the national Infinite Power party. "We pay a lot of money to get those people into office. It can take several terms before we get a return on our investment, I mean, candidates. We should extend the number of years for each term, not limit the number of times a person can serve in any specific office!"
3. Your aunt's mother's step-sister's best friend's hairstylist, Elizabeth Wu, pooh-poohs the entire idea. "You know how to run your country, yes? Why deal with the hassle of elected officials and elections in the first place, yes? Eliminate elections and this entire term limit issue becomes moot, yes?"
No Pain, No Gain!
The Issue
Due to the recent capture of a foreign terrorist in Tarabostes, high-level military officials want the government to authorize torture to extract information about other terrorist activities.
The Debate
1. "Torture is the only way that we can get these idiots to tell us anything," says General Thomas Wu of Tarabostes's special forces division. "After all, violence is the only shared language we have with these scum."
2. "Are you kidding?" states political activist Max Steele. "Torture never works. If anything, it should be outlawed. What do we want to become, genocidal maniacs?
3. "There's nothing wrong with torture, but we can't make it too obvious," says Secretary of Defense Miranda Steele. "How about we simply ask them nicely, and then, if they don't tell us, we kill them? That's better just from the intimidation."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Baseball League Steps Up To The Plate
The Issue
The Batter Up! Baseball League has begun to grow in popularity and is now seeking government support in establishing teams and stadiums throughout the nation.
The Debate
1. "Holy cow, is this gonna be great!" hollers BUBL President and sports nut Roger du Pont, wearing a fashionable giant foam finger on his right hand. "Baseball is just what Tarabostes needs right now! Think about it: soda, popcorn, hot dogs... oh, and I'm sure the economy will benefit somehow, too! All we need is the government funding to build stadiums and teams, and we'll be on every TV and in every city in the country!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "You're going to spend the taxpayer's money on WHAT?" counters Minister of Finance Falala Dredd, from a newly furnished office. "I mean, I love playing a good game of baseball every now and then, but does the government really need to go around supporting this? The only people that are going to benefit are a bunch of fat-cat burger vendors and bored hicks with nothing better to do on Sunday afternoon! We need to stop spending so much money on these ridiculous games and get back to what's really important: running the business of the country."
Scandal Rocks Tarabostes's Government!
The Issue
A tabloid magazine, The National Incriminator, has revealed the sordid details of an affair between one of your top advisors, Robert Lotsalovin, and his secretary.
The Debate
1. "They found out I did WHAT?!" Advisor Lotsalovin says in his morning meeting in your office. "This just can't happen! How can government officials do their jobs properly if we have to work under the constant scrutiny of these idiotic supermarket tabloids? I say tabloid newspapers must be banned, and we must not allow newspapers to speak ill of our government officials... for the good of Tarabostes, of course..."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Unbelievable!" says Reverend Jazz Hendrikson of the local Catholic church. "Our government officials must be held to a higher standard than this! Mr. Lotsalovin must be removed from office and jailed. We cannot allow such disgusting corruption within the halls of justice!"
3. "Whoa, whoa, hey, now..." argues Senator Max Dredd. "What happened to Mr. Lotsalovin is no different than affairs that happen all over Tarabostes every day! Before you know it, they'll be after YOUR sexual history! I think what we need to do is take the public attention off of it somehow, perhaps by... oh, I don't know... giving them a tax cut! That'll divert their attention from this momentary distraction just long enough for Mr. Lotsalovin's divorce process to end!"
Need For Speed?
The Issue
After watching the movie 'The Fast and the Belligerent', boyracers from all over Tarabostes have been petitioning for the abolition of speed limits.
The Debate
1. "Today's cars are safer at high speeds than ever before," argues Lars Broadside, editor of Sports Car Monthly. "And long-distance commuters are tired of spending hours on the road just to get to the next city. Abolishing the speed limit would be great for the economy too! People would be more likely to go out and buy cars if they thought they'd be able to use them properly. It seems like such a shame to be puttering along at the speed limit in a magnificent car like the 450HP twin-turbo Sabertooth-tiger SX/T-7700 you know."
2. "Are you crazy?" cries Alexei Mombota, a road-accident victim. "We need lower speed limits on automobiles, not higher. You might as well enforce mandatory blindfolds on the road too, it'll come to the same conclusion! People's lives are at stake here! If people were made to drive at, say, no faster than fifty kilometres per hour, I would feel a lot happier walking the streets. Besides, if it takes a long time to get places via car then people might begin using mass transit for once."
3. "I think the current speed limits are fine, but we need better enforcement," says Peggy Johnson, the most feared traffic warden in Tarabostes. "If we required GPS tracking devices in all vehicles, we'd ticket every single speeder, no problem. In addition, we could monitor the movements of criminals and other suspicious individuals, and vastly reduce the risk of crime, terrorism, and other subversive activity. Some say that's an invasion of privacy, but if you've done nothing wrong what's there to fear?"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Time To Put The Older Senators Out to Pasture?
The Issue
Many people are starting to think that it's time to put term limits on elected officials, given the average age of 70 years old and 40 years of service in the nation's Parliament.
The Debate
1. "It's time to get these lifetime politicians off the government payroll!" says term-limits advocate Tobias Christmas. "Let them get real jobs like the rest of us once they leave office. Besides, if they are currently a Senator, they can always run for another office like Governor. This gives people the right to elect whomever they want to run for office, just not the same office forever. It'll keep things from going completely stale!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Wait a minute," says Hack Rubin, chairman of the national Infinite Power party. "We pay a lot of money to get those people into office. It can take several terms before we get a return on our investment, I mean, candidates. We should extend the number of years for each term, not limit the number of times a person can serve in any specific office!"
3. Your aunt's mother's step-sister's best friend's hairstylist, Elizabeth Wu, pooh-poohs the entire idea. "You know how to run your country, yes? Why deal with the hassle of elected officials and elections in the first place, yes? Eliminate elections and this entire term limit issue becomes moot, yes?"
No Pain, No Gain!
The Issue
Due to the recent capture of a foreign terrorist in Tarabostes, high-level military officials want the government to authorize torture to extract information about other terrorist activities.
The Debate
1. "Torture is the only way that we can get these idiots to tell us anything," says General Thomas Wu of Tarabostes's special forces division. "After all, violence is the only shared language we have with these scum."
2. "Are you kidding?" states political activist Max Steele. "Torture never works. If anything, it should be outlawed. What do we want to become, genocidal maniacs?
3. "There's nothing wrong with torture, but we can't make it too obvious," says Secretary of Defense Miranda Steele. "How about we simply ask them nicely, and then, if they don't tell us, we kill them? That's better just from the intimidation."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Baseball League Steps Up To The Plate
The Issue
The Batter Up! Baseball League has begun to grow in popularity and is now seeking government support in establishing teams and stadiums throughout the nation.
The Debate
1. "Holy cow, is this gonna be great!" hollers BUBL President and sports nut Roger du Pont, wearing a fashionable giant foam finger on his right hand. "Baseball is just what Tarabostes needs right now! Think about it: soda, popcorn, hot dogs... oh, and I'm sure the economy will benefit somehow, too! All we need is the government funding to build stadiums and teams, and we'll be on every TV and in every city in the country!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "You're going to spend the taxpayer's money on WHAT?" counters Minister of Finance Falala Dredd, from a newly furnished office. "I mean, I love playing a good game of baseball every now and then, but does the government really need to go around supporting this? The only people that are going to benefit are a bunch of fat-cat burger vendors and bored hicks with nothing better to do on Sunday afternoon! We need to stop spending so much money on these ridiculous games and get back to what's really important: running the business of the country."
Scandal Rocks Tarabostes's Government!
The Issue
A tabloid magazine, The National Incriminator, has revealed the sordid details of an affair between one of your top advisors, Robert Lotsalovin, and his secretary.
The Debate
1. "They found out I did WHAT?!" Advisor Lotsalovin says in his morning meeting in your office. "This just can't happen! How can government officials do their jobs properly if we have to work under the constant scrutiny of these idiotic supermarket tabloids? I say tabloid newspapers must be banned, and we must not allow newspapers to speak ill of our government officials... for the good of Tarabostes, of course..."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
2. "Unbelievable!" says Reverend Jazz Hendrikson of the local Catholic church. "Our government officials must be held to a higher standard than this! Mr. Lotsalovin must be removed from office and jailed. We cannot allow such disgusting corruption within the halls of justice!"
3. "Whoa, whoa, hey, now..." argues Senator Max Dredd. "What happened to Mr. Lotsalovin is no different than affairs that happen all over Tarabostes every day! Before you know it, they'll be after YOUR sexual history! I think what we need to do is take the public attention off of it somehow, perhaps by... oh, I don't know... giving them a tax cut! That'll divert their attention from this momentary distraction just long enough for Mr. Lotsalovin's divorce process to end!"
Need For Speed?
The Issue
After watching the movie 'The Fast and the Belligerent', boyracers from all over Tarabostes have been petitioning for the abolition of speed limits.
The Debate
1. "Today's cars are safer at high speeds than ever before," argues Lars Broadside, editor of Sports Car Monthly. "And long-distance commuters are tired of spending hours on the road just to get to the next city. Abolishing the speed limit would be great for the economy too! People would be more likely to go out and buy cars if they thought they'd be able to use them properly. It seems like such a shame to be puttering along at the speed limit in a magnificent car like the 450HP twin-turbo Sabertooth-tiger SX/T-7700 you know."
2. "Are you crazy?" cries Alexei Mombota, a road-accident victim. "We need lower speed limits on automobiles, not higher. You might as well enforce mandatory blindfolds on the road too, it'll come to the same conclusion! People's lives are at stake here! If people were made to drive at, say, no faster than fifty kilometres per hour, I would feel a lot happier walking the streets. Besides, if it takes a long time to get places via car then people might begin using mass transit for once."
3. "I think the current speed limits are fine, but we need better enforcement," says Peggy Johnson, the most feared traffic warden in Tarabostes. "If we required GPS tracking devices in all vehicles, we'd ticket every single speeder, no problem. In addition, we could monitor the movements of criminals and other suspicious individuals, and vastly reduce the risk of crime, terrorism, and other subversive activity. Some say that's an invasion of privacy, but if you've done nothing wrong what's there to fear?"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
luni, 4 februarie 2008
Sa ne mai hotaram nitzel
Tarabostes Decides:
Corporations Demand Political Say
The Issue
A well-heeled lobby group is pushing for the elimination of regulations that prevent corporations from donating money to political parties.
The Debate
1. "This is supposed to be a democratic country," Information Technology industry spokesperson Pete Wu says. "Yet these archaic laws say I can't donate money to support a political party. They put ceilings on the amount any party can spend on advertising. It's time to stop treating voters like children, and trust them to make up their own minds. Free the ballot box!"
2. "You say political freedom, I hear vote-buying," says popular anarchist Billy-Bob Mombota. "If these fat cats get their way, politicians will buy their own seat in Congress. And let's face it, a slick advertising campaign can convince a lot of apathetic voters. We need to tighten the laws, not repeal them. Money should have no place in politics!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
3. "Frankly, I don't see why we need to have elections at all," says your brother, Jazz Wall, over a late-night malt whiskey. "You always seem to know what's best. Why not scrap the whole political system? It would make things so much simpler."
Right Of Way Or Wrong Of Way?
The Issue
An increasing number of land owners have been fencing off footpaths which run through or near their property and as a result you have been petitioned by The Rambler's and Hiker's Association to allow the 'right to roam'.
The Debate
1. Anne-Marie Thiesen, a famous hiker of Tarabostes's countryside, storms into your office, arms waving dangerously. "These pompous land owners are fencing off hundreds of years of tradition! The public should have right of way by law! It is every man's right to be able to enjoy the scenic beauty of our native lands and I don't see why some toffee-nosed prat should be the only person allowed to walk around his hundreds of acres of land when most of us don't even have one! It's simply unforgivable! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going for a walk! Wherever I ruddy well like!"
2. "It's trespass, plain and simple," says Sue-Ann Jones, wealthy owner of six mansions. "My home is my castle! If these smelly ramblers think they can abuse and defile my land, they should start thinking again! You've got to look at this reasonably: where people go, pollution follows. Before I know it I'm going to have litter in my fields, drunken parties in my woods, and more eroded footpaths than I can count! Will they be the ones paying to have it all maintained? Not likely! I say no to this 'right to roam' rubbish! This land is mine, and I intend to keep it that way."
3. "There's an opportunity in every problem," says Alexei Utopia, your Minister of Rural Affairs. "And there's always some sort of compromise. We could simply allocate some government funding to teams of environmental workers to maintain and promote our network of footpaths that anyone may use... for a price. Think of the money we could get from all those hikers and ramblers! Not to mention the tourists, birdwatchers, and hippies! Everybody wins! Except for those who can't afford the fees, I guess, but you can't please everyone."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Minority Group Demands Language Recognition
The Issue
A group several thousands strong hailing from a remote, isolated corner of Tarabostes is staging a massive demonstration on the front steps of your capitol. They demand that their local dialect be recognized as an official language.
The Debate
1. Freddy Mistletoe, your Minister of Culture, has nothing but disdain for the demonstrators. "The language of Tarabostes is as important to our national identity as our history is. A truly erudite individual uses perfect grammar and refuses to speak as those ruffians do." Your Finance Minister is quick to chime in as well, "If business is required to print every road sign, instruction manual, and fast-food wrapper in two languages, it would increase everybody's overhead. That means higher prices for the person in the street."
2. "Smarker, but ee's gone blongie 'round the clonger! Trandy in the blang warked a newtie on the Cheebers, quaff me a duggle if it's brine. Sorky, hang our trandy high!" says May Barry, speaking for the demonstrators, in an apparently rousing response that draws a cascade of cheers. After a few uncomfortable minutes with a professional translator, you find the speaker said, "I respectfully disagree with the Minister. Multilingualism has brought stability to richly-cultured nations such as Brancaland; indeed, I challenge you to provide a single counterexample. I encourage this government to adopt a policy of multilingualism throughout Tarabostes!"
3. Clint Bush, a radical opposition member who seems to tag along to every demonstration she can find, has her own proposal. "The language barrier is keeping us all apart. What Tarabostes needs is a new identity defined by a new language that we can all agree on. That's unity without favoritism."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Military Budgets Up For Approval
The Issue
The various branches of Tarabostes's military brought their budget petitions to your attention and, as usual, they are all asking for widespread increases over the rest of the military departments.
The Debate
1. "Clearly the army requires the greatest increase in funds this year," says Field Marshal Dave Rubin. "After all, wars were never won by air or sea and in this dangerous world we must be able to protect the interests of Tarabostes. Currently our men get hand-me-down weapons, rations I wouldn't feed a pig - the army is increasingly looking like a bad career option and we can't have that. If we're going to get recruits, we need more funding to support our brave lads in their duty."
2. "Hah! It's the Navy who needs the money, mate," says Grand Admiral Colin Li. "The army and the police forces can protect us domestically, but can they protect us from having our foreign trade cut off? Can they protect us from terrorists and pirates? How are the soldiers going to get to the enemy's borders? Swim? I think not. Fund us, the Navy, the true protectors of Tarabostes!"
3. "Despite the statements of my colleagues," says Dave Spirit, Marshal of the Air Force. "The Air Force requires more money than these men playing around with boats. We are increasingly seeing terrorists taking to the air, and more ships or guns are not going to stop that. Our people will only be safe when the Air Force has the power it needs to defend us - and for that we need more funding and more government support for industries geared towards the development of new aircraft."
4. "You're all thinking too small!" exclaims Melbourne Johnson, an avid Star Wars fan. "What we need is more research into the possibilities of space weapons! Big laser cannon and satellites with complete annihilation power! And cool spaceships! Boom! Rat-a-tata! Bang! Bang! It'll be expensive, sure, but think of the power! THE POWER!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
5. "It's simply not good enough!" wails Jazz Thiesen, the Minister of Defence. "It's not about the money - it's the manpower. Not enough people by far are signing up! All we seem to be getting nowadays are drunks and people who volunteered for a dare. The current conscription laws need to be either more strictly enforced or drastically rewritten. What I propose is a universal draft: everyone capable of pulling a trigger should become a part of the Army, Navy or Air Force. Only in this way can we ensure the dominance of Tarabostes in the region."
6. "The military is a stain on the peace-loving nature of our nation!" cries Peggy Rubin, while sporting a Rastifarian hat. "People should be allowed to choose what they do for a living! Conscription is wrong and I don't see why our tax forlorns should go to such a despicable cause! The money should be going to more important places - like our pockets!"
Corporations Demand Political Say
The Issue
A well-heeled lobby group is pushing for the elimination of regulations that prevent corporations from donating money to political parties.
The Debate
1. "This is supposed to be a democratic country," Information Technology industry spokesperson Pete Wu says. "Yet these archaic laws say I can't donate money to support a political party. They put ceilings on the amount any party can spend on advertising. It's time to stop treating voters like children, and trust them to make up their own minds. Free the ballot box!"
2. "You say political freedom, I hear vote-buying," says popular anarchist Billy-Bob Mombota. "If these fat cats get their way, politicians will buy their own seat in Congress. And let's face it, a slick advertising campaign can convince a lot of apathetic voters. We need to tighten the laws, not repeal them. Money should have no place in politics!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
3. "Frankly, I don't see why we need to have elections at all," says your brother, Jazz Wall, over a late-night malt whiskey. "You always seem to know what's best. Why not scrap the whole political system? It would make things so much simpler."
Right Of Way Or Wrong Of Way?
The Issue
An increasing number of land owners have been fencing off footpaths which run through or near their property and as a result you have been petitioned by The Rambler's and Hiker's Association to allow the 'right to roam'.
The Debate
1. Anne-Marie Thiesen, a famous hiker of Tarabostes's countryside, storms into your office, arms waving dangerously. "These pompous land owners are fencing off hundreds of years of tradition! The public should have right of way by law! It is every man's right to be able to enjoy the scenic beauty of our native lands and I don't see why some toffee-nosed prat should be the only person allowed to walk around his hundreds of acres of land when most of us don't even have one! It's simply unforgivable! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going for a walk! Wherever I ruddy well like!"
2. "It's trespass, plain and simple," says Sue-Ann Jones, wealthy owner of six mansions. "My home is my castle! If these smelly ramblers think they can abuse and defile my land, they should start thinking again! You've got to look at this reasonably: where people go, pollution follows. Before I know it I'm going to have litter in my fields, drunken parties in my woods, and more eroded footpaths than I can count! Will they be the ones paying to have it all maintained? Not likely! I say no to this 'right to roam' rubbish! This land is mine, and I intend to keep it that way."
3. "There's an opportunity in every problem," says Alexei Utopia, your Minister of Rural Affairs. "And there's always some sort of compromise. We could simply allocate some government funding to teams of environmental workers to maintain and promote our network of footpaths that anyone may use... for a price. Think of the money we could get from all those hikers and ramblers! Not to mention the tourists, birdwatchers, and hippies! Everybody wins! Except for those who can't afford the fees, I guess, but you can't please everyone."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Minority Group Demands Language Recognition
The Issue
A group several thousands strong hailing from a remote, isolated corner of Tarabostes is staging a massive demonstration on the front steps of your capitol. They demand that their local dialect be recognized as an official language.
The Debate
1. Freddy Mistletoe, your Minister of Culture, has nothing but disdain for the demonstrators. "The language of Tarabostes is as important to our national identity as our history is. A truly erudite individual uses perfect grammar and refuses to speak as those ruffians do." Your Finance Minister is quick to chime in as well, "If business is required to print every road sign, instruction manual, and fast-food wrapper in two languages, it would increase everybody's overhead. That means higher prices for the person in the street."
2. "Smarker, but ee's gone blongie 'round the clonger! Trandy in the blang warked a newtie on the Cheebers, quaff me a duggle if it's brine. Sorky, hang our trandy high!" says May Barry, speaking for the demonstrators, in an apparently rousing response that draws a cascade of cheers. After a few uncomfortable minutes with a professional translator, you find the speaker said, "I respectfully disagree with the Minister. Multilingualism has brought stability to richly-cultured nations such as Brancaland; indeed, I challenge you to provide a single counterexample. I encourage this government to adopt a policy of multilingualism throughout Tarabostes!"
3. Clint Bush, a radical opposition member who seems to tag along to every demonstration she can find, has her own proposal. "The language barrier is keeping us all apart. What Tarabostes needs is a new identity defined by a new language that we can all agree on. That's unity without favoritism."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Military Budgets Up For Approval
The Issue
The various branches of Tarabostes's military brought their budget petitions to your attention and, as usual, they are all asking for widespread increases over the rest of the military departments.
The Debate
1. "Clearly the army requires the greatest increase in funds this year," says Field Marshal Dave Rubin. "After all, wars were never won by air or sea and in this dangerous world we must be able to protect the interests of Tarabostes. Currently our men get hand-me-down weapons, rations I wouldn't feed a pig - the army is increasingly looking like a bad career option and we can't have that. If we're going to get recruits, we need more funding to support our brave lads in their duty."
2. "Hah! It's the Navy who needs the money, mate," says Grand Admiral Colin Li. "The army and the police forces can protect us domestically, but can they protect us from having our foreign trade cut off? Can they protect us from terrorists and pirates? How are the soldiers going to get to the enemy's borders? Swim? I think not. Fund us, the Navy, the true protectors of Tarabostes!"
3. "Despite the statements of my colleagues," says Dave Spirit, Marshal of the Air Force. "The Air Force requires more money than these men playing around with boats. We are increasingly seeing terrorists taking to the air, and more ships or guns are not going to stop that. Our people will only be safe when the Air Force has the power it needs to defend us - and for that we need more funding and more government support for industries geared towards the development of new aircraft."
4. "You're all thinking too small!" exclaims Melbourne Johnson, an avid Star Wars fan. "What we need is more research into the possibilities of space weapons! Big laser cannon and satellites with complete annihilation power! And cool spaceships! Boom! Rat-a-tata! Bang! Bang! It'll be expensive, sure, but think of the power! THE POWER!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
5. "It's simply not good enough!" wails Jazz Thiesen, the Minister of Defence. "It's not about the money - it's the manpower. Not enough people by far are signing up! All we seem to be getting nowadays are drunks and people who volunteered for a dare. The current conscription laws need to be either more strictly enforced or drastically rewritten. What I propose is a universal draft: everyone capable of pulling a trigger should become a part of the Army, Navy or Air Force. Only in this way can we ensure the dominance of Tarabostes in the region."
6. "The military is a stain on the peace-loving nature of our nation!" cries Peggy Rubin, while sporting a Rastifarian hat. "People should be allowed to choose what they do for a living! Conscription is wrong and I don't see why our tax forlorns should go to such a despicable cause! The money should be going to more important places - like our pockets!"
vineri, 1 februarie 2008
Madgearu e nimica
The Federation of Tarabostes
Government Budget Details
Administration: $187,366,559,385.60 23%
Social Welfare: $8,146,372,147.20 1%
Healthcare: $40,731,860,736.00 5%
Education: $122,195,582,208.00 15%
Religion & Spirituality: $0.00 0%
Defence: $73,317,349,324.80 9%
Law & Order: $122,195,582,208.00 15%
Commerce: $8,146,372,147.20 1%
Public Transport: $57,024,605,030.40 7%
The Environment: $138,488,326,502.40 17%
Social Equality: $57,024,605,030.40 7%
Tarabostes Economic Statistics
Exchange Rate: 5.3847 forlorns = $1
Gross Domestic Product: $852,715,307,946.42
GDP Per Capita: $2,786.65
Unemployment Rate: 12.86%
Consumption: $0.00
Government Budget: $1,018,296,518,400.00
Government Expenditures: $814,637,214,720.00
Goverment Waste: $203,659,303,680.00
Exports: $141,985,901,226.42
Imports: $103,907,808,000.00
Trade Surplus: $38,078,093,226.42
Romania Economic Statistics
Gross Regional Product: $4,975,788,477,088,170.00
GRP Per Capita: $21,270.69
Regional Population: 233,927,000,000
Regional Average GDP: $73,173,359,957,178.97
Largest GDP: Talcvom ($426 trillion)
Smallest GDP: Cosmin177 ($12.0 billion)
Largest GDP Per Capita: Steaua Supreme ($45,786)
Smallest GDP Per Capita: Dobruja ($287.51)
Largest Trade Surplus: L E F ($5.44 trillion)
Largest Trade Deficit: Talcvom ($1.53 trillion)
Government Budget Details
Administration: $187,366,559,385.60 23%
Social Welfare: $8,146,372,147.20 1%
Healthcare: $40,731,860,736.00 5%
Education: $122,195,582,208.00 15%
Religion & Spirituality: $0.00 0%
Defence: $73,317,349,324.80 9%
Law & Order: $122,195,582,208.00 15%
Commerce: $8,146,372,147.20 1%
Public Transport: $57,024,605,030.40 7%
The Environment: $138,488,326,502.40 17%
Social Equality: $57,024,605,030.40 7%
Tarabostes Economic Statistics
Exchange Rate: 5.3847 forlorns = $1
Gross Domestic Product: $852,715,307,946.42
GDP Per Capita: $2,786.65
Unemployment Rate: 12.86%
Consumption: $0.00
Government Budget: $1,018,296,518,400.00
Government Expenditures: $814,637,214,720.00
Goverment Waste: $203,659,303,680.00
Exports: $141,985,901,226.42
Imports: $103,907,808,000.00
Trade Surplus: $38,078,093,226.42
Romania Economic Statistics
Gross Regional Product: $4,975,788,477,088,170.00
GRP Per Capita: $21,270.69
Regional Population: 233,927,000,000
Regional Average GDP: $73,173,359,957,178.97
Largest GDP: Talcvom ($426 trillion)
Smallest GDP: Cosmin177 ($12.0 billion)
Largest GDP Per Capita: Steaua Supreme ($45,786)
Smallest GDP Per Capita: Dobruja ($287.51)
Largest Trade Surplus: L E F ($5.44 trillion)
Largest Trade Deficit: Talcvom ($1.53 trillion)
Zee Germanz
The Federation of Tarabostes
"Assimilation by preparation"
UN Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights: Below Average
Economy: Reasonable
Political Freedoms: Outlawed
Location: Romania
Regional Influence: Vassal
Tarabostes is a UN Member
The Federation of Tarabostes is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service. Its compassionate, cynical population of 306 million are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of the Environment, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising fourteen-year-old boys selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.
Copyright laws have been abolished, sabertooth-tiger populations thrive as dogs are slaughtered in the millions, children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces, and major cities are suffering under water rationing. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tarabostes's national animal is the sabertooth-tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the forlorn.
Tarabostes is ranked 15th in the region and 16,339th in the world for Smartest Citizens.
United Nations Activity
Endorsements Received: 7 (Istrians, Ulpia Sarmisegetuza, Lizuca, Poliarchy, Negru-Voda, CaliforniaKhann, Los Santos - Excelsior)
"Assimilation by preparation"
UN Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights: Below Average
Economy: Reasonable
Political Freedoms: Outlawed
Location: Romania
Regional Influence: Vassal
Tarabostes is a UN Member
The Federation of Tarabostes is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service. Its compassionate, cynical population of 306 million are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of the Environment, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising fourteen-year-old boys selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.
Copyright laws have been abolished, sabertooth-tiger populations thrive as dogs are slaughtered in the millions, children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces, and major cities are suffering under water rationing. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tarabostes's national animal is the sabertooth-tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the forlorn.
Tarabostes is ranked 15th in the region and 16,339th in the world for Smartest Citizens.
United Nations Activity
Endorsements Received: 7 (Istrians, Ulpia Sarmisegetuza, Lizuca, Poliarchy, Negru-Voda, CaliforniaKhann, Los Santos - Excelsior)
Sa mai vedem
Tarabostes Decides:
International Community Comes Doorknocking
Government Acts
The Issue
The international community has appealed to Tarabostes to increase humanitarian aid to the world's poorer nations.
The Debate
1. "We must increase foreign aid," says beaded local peace activist Akira Summers. "Compared to some of these nations, Tarabostes is swimming in forlorns. Let's face it, not every nation in the world is lucky enough to have a government like ours. Let's show some compassion to our less economically gifted neighbors."
2. "Talk about a way to flush forlorns straight down the toilet," argues Think Tank member Beth Dodinas. "What I've noticed is that whenever we do give something, it's never enough: a few years later they're back asking for more. The best way to help these poor nations is to stop shielding them from the logical consequences of their idiotic, long-debunked socialist economic policies."
3. "Relief wouldn't hurt us... if we 'relieved' the right countries," suggests government advisor Faith Gutenberg. "We give them a little humanitarian aid, they give us access to their Information Technology markets... it's win-win. Nothing wrong with a little quid pro quo, especially for a good cause."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Uranium Deposit Promises To Enrich Tarabostes
Government Acts
The Issue
Prospecting company Nukes4U has uncovered a large uranium deposit in Tarabostes's south-west.
The Debate
1. "This is a terrific find!" claims Nukes4U CEO Pete Wu. "It will provide an enormous stimulus to our economy and create thousands of new jobs. It's win-win! All we need from the government is permission to bulldoze the rainforest that's on top of the deposit."
2. "You've got to be kidding," says Green politician Bianca O'Bannon. "This rainforest is thousands of years old! This country needs more environmental protection, not less. And to destroy the environment in order to mine uranium that then goes into nuclear bombs--well, that really sticks in my craw."
3. "There's no need for an either-or decision," says the government's Minister for Mining, Clear-Felling, and the Environment. "We can preserve most of the rainforest and allow mining of a small part. After all, think of all the good that the money from this uranium deposit can bring to Tarabostes."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
International Community Comes Doorknocking
Government Acts
The Issue
The international community has appealed to Tarabostes to increase humanitarian aid to the world's poorer nations.
The Debate
1. "We must increase foreign aid," says beaded local peace activist Akira Summers. "Compared to some of these nations, Tarabostes is swimming in forlorns. Let's face it, not every nation in the world is lucky enough to have a government like ours. Let's show some compassion to our less economically gifted neighbors."
2. "Talk about a way to flush forlorns straight down the toilet," argues Think Tank member Beth Dodinas. "What I've noticed is that whenever we do give something, it's never enough: a few years later they're back asking for more. The best way to help these poor nations is to stop shielding them from the logical consequences of their idiotic, long-debunked socialist economic policies."
3. "Relief wouldn't hurt us... if we 'relieved' the right countries," suggests government advisor Faith Gutenberg. "We give them a little humanitarian aid, they give us access to their Information Technology markets... it's win-win. Nothing wrong with a little quid pro quo, especially for a good cause."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
Uranium Deposit Promises To Enrich Tarabostes
Government Acts
The Issue
Prospecting company Nukes4U has uncovered a large uranium deposit in Tarabostes's south-west.
The Debate
1. "This is a terrific find!" claims Nukes4U CEO Pete Wu. "It will provide an enormous stimulus to our economy and create thousands of new jobs. It's win-win! All we need from the government is permission to bulldoze the rainforest that's on top of the deposit."
2. "You've got to be kidding," says Green politician Bianca O'Bannon. "This rainforest is thousands of years old! This country needs more environmental protection, not less. And to destroy the environment in order to mine uranium that then goes into nuclear bombs--well, that really sticks in my craw."
3. "There's no need for an either-or decision," says the government's Minister for Mining, Clear-Felling, and the Environment. "We can preserve most of the rainforest and allow mining of a small part. After all, think of all the good that the money from this uranium deposit can bring to Tarabostes."
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
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